Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

Thanks for coming, everyone. Please, have a seat. Jim, buddy, put down that can of Raid and grab a can of beer! No, seriously, put it down. Put. It. Down. Thank you. A crazy rumour has been going around since I got back from my vacation, and I’d like to dispel it before it gets…

Teen Studiers Big Tits and Chickadees Sweaty Lesbian P90X Helpful Black Mothers Anal-retentive Cougars White Chicks and Big Black Dicks Gang Up Against Crime Redheads Who Ride Monster Trucks When Bears Attack

The characters are stranded in the middle of nowhere when the horse pulling their carriage dies. Two characters are killed while fornicating, because carnal knowledge out of wedlock is an affront to God. The heroine gives birth to a child fathered by a non-white. The killer catches a woman who trips over her long dress…

Wear comfortable clothing. Get a firm grip. Lift with your legs. Keep your upper body straight. Consult a doctor if you feel pain.

Smiley is a horror movie about a killer that’s summoned when someone types “I did it for the lulz” in a chat three times. It’s only a matter of time before this modern horror masterpiece receives a sequel, and I want to get in on it. Here are some select scenes from my proposed screenplay.…

Re-educating the dissident Praising your Dear Leader Subsisting without aid Bombarding the South Unilaterally unifying Crossing the DMZ Engaging in one-party talks

Snowstorms now have an official nomenclature, similar to how cyclones are named. It is therefore inevitable that the media will produce dreadful headlines when these storms hit. If any of the following are used, I vow to pelt the offending journalist with snowballs until they apologise. This Athena’s No Beauty! Et Tu, Brutus? Snow Caesar!…

Orange plastic, 10 litres. Cedar with copper bands, 15 litres. Galvanised metal, 4.5 litres. Have a threesome.

The official language of the Byzantine Empire was changed from Latin to Greek by Emperor Heraclius in 620 AD. Dwight D. Eisenhower married his wife, who at 19 was six years his junior, on July 1, 1916. Lake Ontario has a surface area of 7,340 square miles. French explorer Robert de La Salle was murdered…

My self-summary I’m a young, fun-loving soldier in the rebellion against our robot overlords. I’m a little shy, but I open up once you get to know me. I love meeting new survivors, long walks on the beaches that the floods are creating every day, and freeing prisoners from labour camps. I’m a very spiritual…